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duhaoshu

after hearing a sentence, I have deep feelings:

when children break up with people, they will tell each other loudly, "I won't play with you anymore";

and the way adults do not ask, do not explain, is silently estranged, is to maintain a tacit understanding between each other.

it is also a kind of wisdom in life to learn to deal with people you hate calmly.

as we grow older, we gradually learn to rein in our emotions so that we are not confused and not trapped in emotion.

hate a person, you don't have to fall out

some people say, "it's expensive to fall out with someone you hate."

if you think about it, it is true.

netizen Xiao Deng told a story of his past.

Xiao Deng has a cousin who runs a supermarket and asks Deng to help manage it.

cousin's father, Xiao Deng's cousin, is a very difficult person to get along with. He always tells his employees what to do, but when business is good, he says that when business is bad, he doesn't have a good face to anyone.

once, because of the rain, the shop was very deserted, and a salesperson had an emergency at home. Xiao Deng agreed to her request for leave.

my cousin took advantage of the topic and gave Xiao Deng a hard talk.

when Xiao Deng thought of the grievances he had suffered these days, he got into a big quarrel with his cousin. Finally, he threw down his work card and said, "I quit."

but he turned his face for a while, but he brought himself a reputation for not losing his temper afterwards.

when his parents found out, they asked him to apologize to his cousin.

encounter unfair things, difficult people, if for a moment of anger, and fall out with each other, not only useless, the last to clean up the mess is their own.

it is the rule of adults to put aside their grievances and face people they hate quietly.

when host Lu Yu was a senior intern in a TV station, he was not only responsible for editing and dubbing every day, but also arranged by his boss to run errands everywhere.

the production director at that time gave her only half of the labor fee under the pretext that she was still a student.

Luyu was angry, but he thought he needed this platform to improve his major.

if you rip your face off for this, it's not worth it.

so she chose to make peace.

the most rare thing in one's life is to be transparent.

as Gui Guzi said:

"feel the hypocrisy of people, do not show their face; eat people's losses, do not move to the mouth."

hate the hypocrisy of others, don't show it on your face; you don't have to be clear when you know you're at a loss.

once some things are revealed, they will only stiffen the relationship and embarrass each other.

for those who hate it, you don't have to be tit-for-tat, just keep your distance.

the best thing to do is to spend your time and energy on improving yourself and making yourself better.

A wise man is proud of himself, but a fool is angry.

hate a person, really do not have to fall out, can be happy and angry, you win.

see a person clearly, don't be angry

have you ever been angry and sad because you suddenly saw a friend?

in fact, you don't have to worry too much about it.

it is inevitable to meet hypocritical people in the sea of life.

people are different, there is no need to blend, see a person clearly, as long as slowly alienate.

Zhihu blogger

@ Maoxian SAMA

talked about his own experience.

when the blogger was at school, a classmate in the class was excluded and laughed at by his classmates because he was not good-looking.

once when a boy laughed at the classmate, the blogger spoke for the classmate, and the two became good friends ever since.

seeing that the classmate had no friends, the blogger let her integrate into his circle of friends. In those years, they studied together, shared snacks and shared secrets together, and they talked about almost everything.

later, when the two went to different cities to go to college, they still exchanged letters and met during the holidays.

to her surprise, her classmates unexpectedly told others their secrets as gossip. when they were found out, they cried for forgiveness.

to the blogger's surprise, when they were having dinner together and passing by the parking lot, a classmate suddenly scratched a BMW with a key, then quickly pulled out a post-it note on the windshield, leaving his own Wechat.

finally, he said proudly, "you'll know the owner of the car by leaving your Wechat and replacing your profile picture with a good-looking picture."

at that moment, the blogger felt that the person in front of her was a terrible stranger, and she saw her classmates thoroughly.

to see a person clearly, there is no need to be angry, let alone annoyed.

be angry and annoyed, but just punish yourself for other people's mistakes.

it's good to know something and not to say it; some people just have to recognize it clearly and don't have to think about it.

you know, not all people share the same values; not all people are worth worrying about.

there is a good saying: "you just do a good job of yourself, others have their own turbidity, you have your own clarity."

those who are destined to be different from you, if you see it clearly, you will despise it.

No more contact is the best way to deal with the relationship.

Adult breakup, quietly

I have seen a video.Frequency: a girl broke up with her best friend of more than ten years, and her friends didn't even know it.

the girl and her best friend have been good friends since junior high school, who will help her with her homework and help her plan her confession.

they are so good that they sleep in the same bed, wear a pair of trousers, eat a bowl of noodles, and cry bitterly together late at night. The girl thought they would be good friends for life.

however, in the process of getting along, her best friend always negates her and hits her.

she wanted to wear a short skirt, and her best friend said, "you are not fit to wear it. You are too fat and your legs are so thick that you want to lose weight."

when she graduated to apply for a job, she wanted to apply for a job in a good company. Her best friend said, "this company needs at least 211. You should be self-aware."

when she was praised by her boss for sharing her work with her best friend, she washed away all her joy when she said, "Oh, people in your company are very talkative."

in her best friend's years of denial, her self-confidence was destroyed, she began to suspect that she was not good enough, became very inferiority complex and sensitive, and always wanted to prove herself.

later, she gradually realized that her best friend's joke was also a kind of verbal violence.

she finally understood that their friendship could not continue.

as a result, she began to deliberately alienate her best friend and stopped contacting her. Her best friend also sensed her alienation and took the initiative to delete her Wechat.

most of the time, leaving with great fanfare is not reconciled to nostalgia, while leaving in silence is the real decision.

I have heard such a sentence:

"the best way for adults to end a relationship is not to argue and break down, but to be silently alienated."

when people reach a certain age, they will understand that if a relationship cannot last, the best way is to leave quietly.

if you don't ask, you will give each other the last respect.

from now on, autumn clouds and spring water, thousands of mountains and twilight snow, each take care of.

mature people are silent even if they break up with each other.

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the Fistinger method points out:

10% of life is made up of things that happen to you;

the other 90% is determined by how you react to what has happened.

the state of one's life depends to a large extent on his attitude.

We can't choose the people and things we encounter, but we can adjust our mindset.

when you meet someone you hate, instead of quarreling, you should improve yourself.

to see a person clearly, it is better to slowly alienate him than to be angry and sad.

it is better to get together and break up than to linger on a relationship that cannot be maintained.

after the experience of right and wrong, we have already learned to be quiet adults.

only if you know how to face everything calmly, can you live a comfortable life.

in this complicated world, may you have the courage to bid farewell to the past and the courage to meet the future.